Elena is back. The galaxy trembles, for Elena has her sights set on Commax. Before I start this story, I'll give you all a summary of what's gone down since I cut her off. After Commax decided that Elena isn't worth his time, she got knocked up by some dude, had a daughter, took a maternal leave, then came back.

She's been back for like two months. Since then she's been all over the mighty Commax. Every fucking Saturday, this broad asks me to kiss her. And every Saturday I turn her down. But last weekend, Elena made a death wish for sure.

Saturday, she touched my butt. NO ONE TOUCHES COMMAX'S BUTT. Commax does not like people touching his butt. She tried to be real slick and sneaky about it too. She was walking past me while I was on the register. As she was walking, her hand started on my waist, and made its way to my right butt check. My eyes were red.

Sunday she told one of the co-workers that I was her boyfriend. She tried to be real slick and sneaky about it too. I was looking at the schedule for the upcoming week. She just happened to come up to me and start conversating. As with most non-comic book conversations, I just nod and smile. Well I wasn't smiling, but I nodded. Then a co-worker walked right by us as Elena was talking. Elena said to the co-worker "You're interrupting my boyfriend." But she said it in Spanish so I wouldn't know. But I did know. How conveinent that I learned how to say boyfriend/girlfriend in Spanish class that Friday. Sorry Elena, but you're not getting over on Commax. Besides, you're damaged goods anyway.