Man I got up this morning and I beat my dick something awful. Here's an excerpt of the dialect I exchanged with my testicles:

Commax: Get up! Right now.

Commax's Penis: ...

Commax: Stand up punk. You're about to get the beating of your life.

Commax's Penis: ...

*Commax begins masterbating*

Commax: What now? What now? How you like that huh?

Commax's Penis: ...

Commax: Yeah boy! What's my name bitch? What's my fucking name?

Commax's Penis: ...

Commax: Oh...Oh yes! Don't stop, don't ever ssstooppp... Oh snap!

*Ejackulation complete*

Commax: Time to brush my teeth and get ready for school.

 Yep, I got nothing interesting to talk about. Well, Dick Chaney shot a dude. I'm working on a piece about that, but I need to gather some more evidence. Later.